The Wire Fox Terrier.com
The Little Foxes Newsletter
A New Experiment from
Each year The Boss sends out lots of personalised Christmas cards, and each year gets lots of telephone calls and letters about them, so this year we’ve decided to branch out into something different in the form of a Newsletter. Please don’t take it too seriously, though, because – although we’ve tried to put the last twelve months events and happenings into the best possible order – we’ve struggled against considerable opposition. Notes have been sabotaged and eaten, pencils have disappeared never to be seen again in any recognisable form. Witnesses to most events have exaggerated and lied shamelessly, facts have been distorted and sensationalised (mainly by the Assistant Deputy Editor), and practically every resident of Little Foxes has done everything expedient to get their name into the newsletter. Staff reliability (no names) has been a continual problem. The language printed reflects the language used, and the Editor has asked me to point out that he is not responsible for the grammatical aspect of the newsletter, which he says abounds with split infinitives, dangling and unattached participles and mixed metaphors. I agree with him -
The Boss’s husband finally traded in the old grid-
Spokesman Bruno said he really couldn’t comment on the new car, because he hadn’t yet had chance to test drive it. He did add, though, if he had to sit in his run and look at the car all day, he would have preferred to have been consulted about the colour.
The only other comment came from a very concerned Mitzy, who managed to alarm the entire household by pointing out that the new car was far too small to collect the dog food.
An emergency ad-
Mitzy suggested Lottie have a word with her special friend about using his big four-
Everybody started shouting at once and eventually The Boss came in from the stripping room to see what all the noise was about.
Unfortunately, Mitzy didn’t notice the sudden silence and continued yelling her head off about selfish so-
The Boss hauled Mitzy off by the scruff of the neck, growling and kicking (Mitzy was growling and kicking, that is – not The Boss) and put her in a run in the lower garden, where she was told she could kick up as much fuss as she wanted -
A meeting was convened . . . .
Where Have All The Biscuits Gone?
As usual, last Christmas, all the residents and boarders at Little Foxes each received a large square biscuit neatly wrapped in Christmas paper and individually labelled, and -
Another Stamp Bites The Dust!
Bruno’s managed to eat another one of The Boss's husband's rare stamps. Bruno’s point of view is that now there’s one less they should be more valuable. No comfort to The Boss's husband, of course, who only had the one in the first place and is unlikely to benefit from its scarcity value.
Molly Does Well!
Molly did very well at the Ruthin Dog Show this year, getting a couple of firsts and a second or two. Sam (It’s All Go Boy Wonder of Rolliecon) who also entered the show, didn’t do quite so well as far as he was concerned. Although he did come home with a couple of certificates, Sam’s idea of a successful show is how many of the bigger dogs tails he can bite when they least expect it.
Molly made a special friend of a St Bernard whilst she was at the show, and Sam was really put out he didn’t get chance to bite the St. Bernard’s tail.
Assistant Deputy Editor
Lottie to take on an assistant
Lottie was given permission by the Editor to take on an assistant; news of the editorial post was circulated, and Lottie was inundated with applications. It wasn't so much a case of choosing the best -
Bruno’s application was first and Lottie rejected it out of hand. She told Gemma she would sooner swim ten lengths of a main sewer than let Bruno near any paper she was responsible for. Gemma agreed.
Bella’s application was treated in a similar manner. Lottie claimed that Bella was the worst thief that Little Foxes had ever had and was the possessor of the most appalling criminal record. Bella, in turn, insisted that she was a reformed character and demanded that Lottie get a second opinion from the Editor. The Editor supported Lottie, saying that if he had £5 for every time he’d sat in a court listening to defendants claim they were reformed characters he’d be riding round in a new Ferrari. The Editor added that whilst, normally, he was in favour of giving a convicted felon a second chance, the 1974 Rehabilitation of Criminals Act did not apply where his newsletter was concerned. Although Lottie had no idea what this meant she nevertheless passed the message onto Bella -
Flinders was turned down at Gemma’s suggestion. Flinders, Gemma pointed out, had a list of offences as long as her tail for chewing everything she could get her teeth into. Second only to Bruno for unreliability, she simply could not be trusted with anything chewable -
Emma withdrew her application when she discovered that the Assistant Deputy Editor had nothing to do with looking after the wine gums and the digestive biscuits.
Lucy would have applied but she didn’t like the idea of being bossed about by her daughter Lottie.
Penny was too busy with her new puppies.
Molly didn’t apply. Being a comparative newcomer she didn’t think she stood a chance. Also – being a successful show dog – she had better things to do with her time, and needed to be ready for any shows coming up.
Mitzy’s application was the last to be looked at. Gemma was astounded that Mitzy even had the nerve to apply, considering she had very recently bitten the Editor’s nose. Mitzy had claimed that the nose-
Mitzy was informed of the outcome.
The rest of the residents of Little Foxes were informed of Lottie's choice, and -
The only comforting thought was that nobody – except Lottie -
Peggy’s New Coat
Peggy recently had her coat stripped by The Boss and because the weather was turning a bit cooler, and Peggy obviously was feeling the cold, she was outfitted with a custom designed body-
On a trip to Little Foxes, Peggy wore her body-
Two of The Boss’s puppies have travelled to far distant places over the last twelve months.
First to go was Lady, who travelled all the way to Hong Kong in December -
Second to go was Gwerny, who went to Germany in July – accompanied by The Boss's husband, who spent a week with Gwerny’s new family. Gwerny caused a stir on the aircraft; she was allowed out of her box and both the crew and passengers alike made a fuss of her. Gwerny travelled very well and, needless to say, arrived safely.
All the residents of Little Foxes asked Gemma -
Gemma hadn’t got the faintest clue and decided to bluff it out.
“Go out through the big gate,” she said, “follow the track across the field, over the cattle grid to the lane. Turn left into the lane and follow it all the way into the village. Hong Kong will be sign-
Everybody readily accepted Gemma’s dubious explanation.
Daring Theft of Evening Meal
Bruno Strikes Again!
The Boss recently decided to treat herself to a roast chicken for her evening meal and left half of it for her husband, who was due to return later in the evening, following a long trip.
Bruno, unfortunately, decided to stake his claim to it and got it first.
The Boss said she only turned her head for a second or two. Bruno leapt onto the work surface, grabbed the roasted chicken, and gobbled it down before the Boss could even act. Needless to say, all the other dogs present in the kitchen helped Bruno as best as they could.
Assistant Deputy Editor Suspended!
“I warned Lottie,” said Gemma.
Mitzy claimed -
Mitzy was recently suspended from her post of Assistant Deputy Editor following the mysterious disappearance of Lottie's only draft copy of the newsletter, and of all the Editor’s pencils and most of the erasers.
The facts have been very difficult to ascertain because Lottie -
Mitzy said that Lottie had only been gone a few seconds when Bruno and Flinders trooped in. Flinders claimed she’d been given permission to sharpen the pencils, and Mitzy tried to stop her getting at them. While she was doing this, Bruno started rummaging through the newsletter – looking to see if his picture was in it, he said. As soon as Mitzy turned her attention to Bruno, Flinders grabbed all the pencils and ran out. Mitzy did her best to catch her, but couldn’t, and when she got back into the kitchen Bruno had eaten the newsletter.
Lottie arrived back to find a very unhappy Mitzy hiding under The Boss’s chair.
“I nearly fainted when I couldn’t find the newsletter,” stated Lottie, “and I hate to think what the Editor’s going to say. It was the only copy; it was Mitzy‘s fault, but I expect he’ll blame me.”
The general consensus of opinion amongst the other dogs, was that Lottie was less concerned about the eating of the newsletter and more concerned that the Editor would be sufficiently annoyed not to bring her next supply of Butchers Tripe.
Bruno was interviewed and denied all knowledge of anything; he claimed he was snoozing in his run at the time of the alleged offence, and added that any body who believed Mitzy needed their brains testing. He also said that Bella had been with him the whole time and could vouch for his innocence.
Bella was cast between the devil and the deep blue sea. She wasn’t bothered about Mitzy, of course -
In the end Bella opted to stand on what the Americans refer to as the “5th Amendment” and what the British Legal system calls “The Right To Remain Silent”.
Flinders, when interviewed by Lottie and Gemma, wasn’t in the position to deny anything. Apart from being a well-
In mitigation, she blamed Mitzy -
For the first time in the history of Little Foxes, Mitzy’s version of events was actually believed. Lottie decided to put the whole issue to the Editor, and Gemma suggested that for the time being Mitzy -
Lottie very foolishly agreed
Emma Appointed Temporary Assistant Deputy Editor
Pending Inquiry into Mitzy's incompetence
Following Mitzy's suspension, Emma said she was very pleased to care-
Mitzy Beaten Up!
Furore over ownership of a jacket potato!
“I was left for dead,” Mitzy complained.
“It was a bit difficult to establish what happened, and I can only report what I personally saw.”
Lottie said that Bella would personally have seen a great deal more if she hadn’t been one of leading protagonists trying to wrestle the jacket potato off Mitzy.
Bella went on, ignoring Lottie: “The Boss had finished her meal, and both her and her husband left the room and went into the kitchen to make the coffee. Instead of waiting her turn, Mitzy jumped onto a chair, got on the table and grabbed the potato. Then she ran under the table with it and attacked every body who tried to get near enough to share it.”
Lucy said that Mitzy didn’t get chance to attack anybody, because Bella and Rosie jumped on her and grabbed the potato.
Geanna said it was Lucy and Bella who jumped on Mitzy, while Rosie seemed to be biting Mitzy’s tail.
Bella insisted she was an innocent bystander -
Flinders said she noticed that Emma got half the potato.
Mitzy said she threw the potato at Emma because she feared for her life.
Emma confirmed that Mitzy threw half of the potato to her in desperation to get rid of it. Emma added that she’d definitely seen Flinders biting one of Mitzy’s ears.
Bruno (not present during the incident, but determined to have his say anyway) said -
Whatever the circumstances, it’s a certainty that the authorities will never know for certain who actually had the jacket potato because the usual culprit, or suspect, (Bruno) wasn’t even there.
Mitzy was subsequently examined by The Boss and her initial claim of three broken legs, seven cracked ribs, a broken nose, three black eyes, and six loose teeth was established to be an exaggeration. However the Boss did find three respectable bites on Mitzy, which at least proved that she’d got the worst of the squabble over the jacket potato.
Mitzy hobbled off to her box, demanding to see a plastic surgeon.
Mitzy Starts A Panic!
The recent fuel shortage rumour threw Mitzy into a panic when she overheard The Boss talking on the telephone to the Editor. The Boss had mentioned it was time to get the monthly supply of dog food and remarked to the Editor that she hoped the predicted fuel shortages wouldn’t cause any problems.
Mitzy immediately flew into a panic and told Bella there was hardly any food left. Bella promptly told Flinders there was no food at all. Flinders, in turn, told Bruno the food had all gone and the Boss wasn’t getting any more. Bruno passed the report on to Geanna, adding that The Boss’s husband had spent all the food money on his stamp collection. Geanna told Lucy, and Lucy passed an admirably embellished version of the message to Emma.
Emma repeated everything to Mitzy. Mitzy -
By the time the rumour -
Gemma decided to establish what was fact and what was imagination and held an inquiry in the kitchen.
Mitzy wasn’t present, because unbeknownst to everybody else, the Editor had arrived with an estate car full of dog food, and Mitzy was supervising its unloading, blissfully unaware and equally unconcerned with the fuss she had caused.
After lugging 30 crates of dog food and three sacks of meal, the Editor was less than impressed when Mitzy wanted to know where everybody else's was.
Temporary Assistant Deputy Editor Sacked!
“It wasn’t temporary enough,” complained Bruno. “What on earth was Lottie thinking of, leaving Emma in charge of the wine gums and digestive biscuits.”
“We were better off with Mitzy,” added the others.
The discrepancy was actually discovered by Bruno, who said he noticed – in passing – that the biscuit cupboard was wide open, and when he looked inside he couldn’t help but see it was empty. He conveniently forgot to mention that the biscuit cupboard was only barely open when he passed it, and it took ten minutes to open it wide enough to get in and help himself, only to find there was nothing left to help himself to.
Emma said although she might have had the odd one or two -
Mitzy’s alleged inefficiency paled into insignificance alongside the theft of the biscuits and wine gums, and all the residents wasted no time in letting Lottie know it. It was made very clear they held Lottie fully responsible for the re-
“At least when Mitzy was Second-
Mitzy, who was sitting out of sight and -
Lottie said she’d speak with the Editor on the subject of re-